A New Word?

On Saturday, with a peer/friend teacher, I attended the Arkansas Teachers for National Board Certification Conference.  One of the guest speakers was the Arkansas Milken Award winner (very interesting lady, originally from Hungary).  She shared a new word with us:  frienemies, as is a friend who is also your enemy.  Sounds like an oxymoron. 

This word gave me pause. Am I a frienemy?  Do I have frienemies?

A frienemy is one who, when you are exceeding, is jealous.  A frienemy is one who would keep one from excelling, again due to jealousy. (I just googled this frienemy...here are the results.)

The presenter shared that she had peers that did not like her because her principal often used her work as an example.  She admitted, "I probably would not like it if I kept hearing another teacher's name over and over, either.  So part of me understands."  That other part of her had to be hurt.

Maybe my conscience was pricked.  Maybe the Christian in me perked up.  I do not want to be a frienemy, nor do I want to associate with such people.

But...can such people really be avoided?  No.  The lesson, thus, to myself is to be more aware of such instances, both when my old nature insists that this characteristic attempt to emerge its ugly head and when other friends adopt that split personality.

This might be an interesting word to share with my students, although chances are they have already heard of this trendy word!  Empowerment comes with understanding (education), though;  this might save some of them some heartache down life's road.

This reminds me of a quote my husband has often shared with me:  The enemy of my enemy is my friend.  

This term, then, is not a new concept, even going back to Bible times.  Consider this from Psalms  55:

If an enemy were insulting me,
    I could endure it;
if a foe were rising against me,
    I could hide.
¹³ But it is you, a man like myself,
    my companion, my close friend,
¹⁴ with whom I once enjoyed sweet fellowship
    at the house of God,
as we walked about
    among the worshipers.

Thus, as I sit here and reflect, a frienemy is a hurtful person, one I am sure I have been, one I will attempt to not be.  No, I do not want to share personal examples!  

Here's to friends and to a new saying:  A friend of my friend is not enemy of mine.